Thursday, April 20, 2017

A baby shower without father

A young girl saw her future too close when she met a guy who looked cheerful and innocent. They instinctively fell in love with each other and started hanging out together. Although both of them were far from securing a stable future, the gravity of love and trust which bound them together gave them the assurance that they were made for each other. But after several months of intimate relationship, they began to discover their differences. Misunderstandings crept in and started to tear them apart. Finally, they decided to end their relationship. The girl painfully let her boy-friend walk away from her life. But soon afterwards, she realized she was pregnant. She kept this secret to herself for five months until her family noticed it. Despite several negotiation attempts, the boy refused to own the paternal responsibility saying he was not convinced that he was the biological father of the baby. However, he at least agreed to give a copy of his Citizenship Identity Card to enable the girl to carry out her medical check-ups and to process her medical documents in the hospital. The girl had her first medical check-up after five months of pregnancy and got her health documents processed. Then in March 2017, she gave birth to a healthy baby son despite those traumatic experiences she had to endure during her pregnancy. This is the story of a young single mother in whose house I and my colleagues went for a baby shower yesterday evening.

As we sat sipping hot Changkay (locally brewed rice wine), I could not stop thinking about the innocent baby’s future. Only this child would know the real pain of having to grow up without father. His mother may get remarried in the future but his stepfather may not be able to own him as much as his biological father would do. It is really sad that this baby has to now grow up without a positive male role model in the family. This is the time when both mother and child require special love and care. But with no father around to own them, their life hangs in the air. But I earnestly pray that time would gradually heal their wounds and bless this child with a promising future.

Living in a liberal society, it is common for young boys and girls to get into physical relationships quite easily. As a result, the issue of unwanted pregnancy is becoming a national concern. The boys usually refuse to own the paternal responsibility when their girls get pregnant and this leads to the birth of so many fatherless children in the country. This is one of the root causes of so many youth problems in the society today with a significant number of young offenders and criminals coming from broken families. There are many research studies that show how growing up without a positive male role model in the family affects the psychological and physical development of a child. But this does not mean that every child growing up without father will meet the same fate. I hope this baby’s mother would be able to take good care of him and give him a good future although he would forever miss the warmth and love of his father.

Until people refrain from getting into unhealthy relationships and stop having unprotected casual sex, we shall continue to have fatherless children in the society. It is therefore very important for people especially young boys and girls to be able to take responsibility for their actions. A momentary pleasure can cause a permanent dent in your life and often your innocent children will have to pay the price. The boys simply walk off and only the girls are left behind to suffer with the baby. So it is the girls who should be more careful. The boys may promise that they would fetch the stars and the moon for you but you should always remember that you have only one body per lifetime and that you should know how to take good care of it. Your carelessness and negligence should never be the reason for your baby to suffer. You should never trust your partner easily because you won’t know what kind of person he is until you have lived with him for years. The best time to have children is when you realize that both you and your partner are well settled so that they get enough love and care as they pass through the most crucial phase of their life. It would be better to have children late and to see them grow up positively than to have children too soon and to see them getting messed up in life. If everybody becomes a responsible person and refrains from indulging in unsafe sex with casual partners, this world will be a safer and more peaceful place to live in with no more unwanted pregnancies and no more spread of sexually transmitted infections.


  1. This story is well written about the reality of the world today. I wonder why this lady didn't get the baby's DNA checked with the male partner? That could prove who is the real father of the baby.

    I wish the mother and baby well. Hope they will be blessed with a happy and good future.

  2. Nicely written with heart touching story with very good morale and valuable advice to our young boys and girls who think that they are grown up and know everything.